I had been buying a lot of books on amazon or reading free e-books through Amazon Prime. But reading on my phone was bothering me. I don't like staring at my phone for that long. Since the pandemic hit, there are only allowed to be 10 people max in the library and you can only spend 10 minutes there. So you have to grab your books, check out, and go! My kids usually take a little while to pick out their books, so I felt I didn't get much of a chance to look for any books for myself. So I didn't even try to look.
A few months ago I decided to grab some books and check them out for myself. I'm glad I did! I only have about one minute to look for some, and sometimes I don't end up liking the books I've picked out. In October, I went on a losing streak for good books! I disliked all the ones I got. But this month, November I've read some really good ones. And I love just curling up with a book, learning something new, and not staring at a screen.
I look at my phone too much. Sometimes I'm looking at my phone and one of my kids will ask me something and I don't even hear them because I'm so focused on what I'm looking at that I tune out all sound. I learned how to do this while studying in college.
At that moment, I make what I'm looking at on my phone more important than being present with my child. It makes me very sad to realize that, but it's true. I want to improve on this. I want to stop looking at my phone constantly. I want to be more present in my every day life.
The other day, I was waiting with my daughter in our van for my little son to get out of karate class. I usually bring our tablet and play youtube videos for her while we wait half an hour until karate practice is over. Otherwise she gets quite bored waiting in the car. We aren't allowed to watch my son practice inside because of the Covid-19 precautions.
I had forgotten to bring the tablet during this particular time. So I let my tiny lady watch youtube videos on my phone. Then I realized that I had nothing to keep me entertained. I felt uncomfortable at first. I felt afraid to be left alone with my thoughts. Why? I have no idea. I guess I am just very used to being entertained every minute of the day. I rarely just sit and think. And do absolutely nothing. So, I decided to clean out my purse. All the crumbs that I had no idea were in there signaled that this was long overdue. Then I wiped down the dusty dash board. Then I just sat and was alone with my thoughts for a little while.
I came to the conclusion that It was a nice break to not be looking at my phone. That it's OK for me to be alone with my thoughts. And most importantly that I look at my phone too much. I need to break up with my constant phone dates.
Heck. When I am waiting for my karate kid to finish practice, why don't I stop bringing the tablet for my daughter? I can grab some of her books from the library and have quality reading time with her in the car. I should say bye-bye to screen time for her as well during this time. I'm ready to make some major changes. In fact, one of the library books I just finished helped inspire me to have less screen time and to be more present. The book is : A Simplified Life : Tactical Tools for Intentional Living by Emily Ley. This book was an easy read and it had some good advice and reminders about removing distractions from what really matters most in life.
Reading books, made of paper, has been a big life changer for me. It gives me a break from the screen. It makes my imagination work. It helps me think differently and understand other people more. It gives me more knowledge. It helps me see ways I can improve my life. It helps me be a better thinker. It helps to give me confidence.
In fact, I plan to go back to school in the springtime. I want to finish what I started and get a bachelor degree. A book I recently read helped me to gain confidence to do this at almost 33 years old. I'll be doing online school and even though I have a fear of failure, I'm not going to let that stop me. A different book I just read, The Alchemist, has a quote that reads, "There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure." I didn't love The Alchemist but it had some good quotes here and there. I think I have learned something from each book I've read lately. Even the ones I started and didn't finish because I didn't like them.
Well, I have a lot to work on. Tonight, as I write this, I'm writing from my phone. And I will continue to do many things on my phone. But I plan to be on it LESS and to be present MORE. I encourage you to discover what you can eliminate from your life to be more present. We can all use more peace in our lives and less distractions.
Thanks for reading!
- Merewyn
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